The price of boring

At first I was annoyed about having been sent from the vibrant planet of my birth to sort out Earth. I still am. I feel as though this is a mission that could have been assigned to a beginner. Just murder anyone boring they said with a pat on the back. Only thing is, everyone is boring here. YOU are boring. I am at risk of becoming boring just being here.

But why is boring a problem? Can't we just leave a boring planet to be boring?

Unfortunately not. You see the universe relies on a certain amount of vibrancy across all vectors in order for energy to flow freely.

Earth had become a pimple, a blackhead... a blockage in the flow of energy. Without truly great art and a general positive vibecheck the rest of the universe suffers.

So, like a rose garden we must prune the ugly roses. People who when people ask "how are you?" answer "how are you?" rather than answer the question. Also people who ask how are you? Also people who answer the question "how are you?" by saying something like "Pretty good for a monday/tuesday/wednesdayetc"

These might seem like minor infractions. This is because you are boring. You are all boring and the idea of having to kill you all makes me exhausted but I will do what I have been sent to do because I love my father and because my sensei told me that if I successfully completed this mission she would be able to tell me the secret to breaking the hold of the sex magic my father has over her.

I'm in love with my sensei and one day we will be together. She's a stone cold fox but that is a story for another day.